Where God Went Wrong by Oolon Colluphid

Zeus and Europa

Title: Where God Went Wrong 

Author: Oolon Colluphid

Publisher: Not known, but probably one of the publishing houses of Ursa Minor

Source book: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Oolon Colluphid followed Where God Went Wrong with Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes and bestseller Well, That About Wraps it Up for God completed his trilogy of philosophical blockbusters. But The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is more controversial than all of them.

It’s a well-known fact that if you stick a Babel fish (readily available it seems on all well run space ships) in your ear, you will instantly be able to understand any language.

It is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind bogglingly useful as a Babel fish could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

The argument goes something like this: “I refuse to prove that I exist,” says God, “for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”

“But,” says Man, “the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.”

“Oh dear,” says God, “I hadn’t thought of that,” and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo’s kidneys but that didn’t stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of Well That About Wraps It Up For God.

I suspect Oolon Colluphid is probably taking down the Judaeo-Christian God, although who can say, but I have chosen to illustrate this with images of Graeco-Roman Gods instead.

Neptune (images borrowed from the internet)