Iyt Gryet Teymple hyte Tsort, Y Hiystory Myistical

The Augsburg book of Miracles thanks to Open Culture 

Title: Iyt Gryet Teymple hyte Tsort, Y Hiystory Myistical 

Author: not known 

Publisher: not known 

Source book: The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett (Discworld #2)

A certain Ymper Trymon, possibly second in command of the Order of the Silver Star, something to do with Unseen University… look, it’s hard to tell with the very early Discworld books. Anyway, Trymon visits the University Library and bribes the Librarian with bananas to bring him anything about the Pyramid of Tshut. There is only one book. Its cover is scratched and dog-eared, and the gold lettering has curled off, but it is still possible to make out, in the old magic language of the Tsort Valley, the words: Iyt Gryet Teymple hyte Tsort, Y Hiystory Myistical.

Back in his room, Trymon reads about the long vanished Great Pyramid of Tsort [Trymon definitely asks for the Pyramid of Tshut on page 29, but by page 35 it is Tsort. Well never mind). Ten thousand slaves were worked to death building it from one million, three thousand and ten limestone blocks which took 60 years; it was a maze of secret passages; it was reputedly decorated with the distilled wisdom of ancient Tsort; its height plus its length divided by half its width equalled exactly 1.67563, or precisely 1,237.98712567 times the difference between the distance to the sun and the weight of a small orange. Oof! So much information. But what can it possibly mean?

Meanwhile, Twoflower and Rincewind are in the forest of Skund, arguing about gnomes. Twoflower has read a book called The Little Folks’ Book of Flower Fairies which has pictures of gnomes wearing red hats, and pixies in green combinations (old fashioned speak for a onesie). He is disappointed, and possibly alarmed to learn that the gnome sitting on a mushroom watching him hasn’t got a hat and smells bad. His beard doesn’t meet Twoflower’s expectations either.

And there is The Journal of Skrelt Changebasket. Changebasket founded the Order of the Silver Star and wrote about the Eight Great Spells. I think.

And finally, the Octavo. The copy in the University Library has rather tatty leather binding and is fastened to a lectern with a heavy chain. It is described in the Library catalogue as ‘slightly foxed’, although it might be more honest to admit it looks as though it has been badgered, solved and possibly beared as well.

The text of the Octavo can appear in any language using pictograms in the shape of crocodiles, two headed lizards or octopuses, or Cupumuguk snow runes (very hard to pronounce). The Octavo can fly. There’s a lot of very complicated plot. And I think that’s enough of that. Next!

Thanks to Day & Fabre