The Garden of Chivalry: Illuminated Manuscripts from Fourteenth-Century Saskatchewan by Jean-Paul de Saussignac

Thanks to the Legion of Honor Museum

Title: The Garden of Chivalry: Illuminated Manuscripts from Fourteenth-Century Saskatchewan 

Author: Jean-Paul de Saussignac

Publisher: not known 

Source book: Earth, Air, Fire and Custard by Tom Holt (JW Wells #3)

Paul Carpenter is sent by his boss Frank Laertides, who is actually the master of the universe or something, to collect this book from the local Waterpebbles book shop. Even though it was on special order the assistant has a bit of a struggle finding it, and tries to fob Paul off with Landscaping Your Window Box by Alan Titchmarsh*, or Alan Titchmarsh’s Big Book of Compost or even An Introduction By Alan Titchmarsh With A Book By Somebody Or Other (which sounds like one of the fakest fictitious book titles ever).

The Garden of Chivalry is mostly pictures of knights in armour and droopy-looking women in blue holding flowers, in the margins of columns of strange-looking writing; Latin, Paul guesses, or possibly Klingon. Paul really didn’t pay attention at school did he? Look, it’s not actually that hard to learn Klingon: there’s an app and dictionaries, but don’t expect to get by using Google Translate. But it’s perfectly obvious that this is a collection of mediaeval illuminated manuscripts which ought to be in Latin. Except they’re from Saskatchewan. Which is in Canada, and there shouldn’t be a tradition of illuminated manuscripts, or writing in Latin (or Klingon), in Canada.

However, later in Earth, Air, Fire and Custard Paul discovers that Professor Theo Van Spee has conspired with Canadian bankers to change the history of the world, particularly regarding the Viking colonisation of the New World. And it hasn’t worked out very well. It never does. Take my advice and don’t try to mess with the history of the world.

We don’t know why Mr Laertides wanted the book though. It’s all a bit cryptic and timey wimey.

My really annoying brother used to bore on about learning Klingon all the time. So I gave him a Klingon dictionary for his birthday. He wasn’t the least bit grateful.

*For those of you who don’t know, Alan Titchmarsh is a celebrity gardener, TV personality, author of gardening books and novels, sometimes a royal pundit and a professional Yorkshireman in the UK.

Thanks to the British Library