Rare and Curious Books by The Duke of Omnium
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| Thanks to Faux Books |
Author: The Duke of Omnium
Publisher: Not known
Source book: County Chronicle by Angela Thirkell
In County Chronicle, there is a door decorated with sham books. Such as Rare and Curious Books by the Duke of Omnium.
Sham books ‘The Ironmaster by Sam Adams’, and ‘The Bishop’s Move by Bishop Jorum’ are contributed by Mr Adams and Dr Jorum respectively. Presumably at some expense because however shabby it seems in the impoverished post-war world, Gatherum Castle (home to the Dukes of Omnium) is still a grand stately home so you have to commission a sham book from a proper bookbinder not just rock up with a bit of cardboard.
You may already have noticed that in Peace Breaks Out, in Rushwater House, a door we must have walked past countless times in previous books, suddenly turns out to be covered in sham book-backs including The Snakes of Ireland in 20 volumes.
Angela Thirkell was writing in the mid 20th century, but the heyday of the faux book was the 19th century. By chance I discovered that Charles Dickens installed a large number of sham books in his study in Tavistock House, all invented by himself. His letters to his bookbinder ordering the faux books, and thanking him for the speed with which he delivered the order have been preserved. Dickens seems to have been very pleased with his selection of book titles, many of which were Victorian jokes that I won’t bother you with here because most of them aren’t very funny to the modern sense of humour. But the details can be found, like everything else, online.
Dickens’s books were Five Minutes in China (3 volumes), Forty Winks at the Pyramids (2 volumes), Abernethy on the Constitution (2 volumes), A Carpenter’s Bench of Bishops (2 volumes), Toot’s Universal Letter Writer (2 volumes), Orson’s Art of Ettiquette, Downeaster’s Complete Calculator, History of the Middling Ages (6 volumes), Jonah’s Account of the Whale, Captain Parry’s Virtues of Cold Tar, Kant’s Ancient Humbugs (10 volumes), Bowwowdom. A Poem, The Quarrelly Review (4 volumes), The Gunpowder Magazine (4 volumes), Steele by the author of ‘Ion’, The Art of Cutting the Teeth, Matthew’s Nursery Songs (2 volumes), Paxton’s Bloomers (5 volumes), On the Use of Mercury by the Ancient Poets, Drowsy’s Recollections of Nothing (3 volumes), Heavyside’s Conversations with Nobody (3 volumes), Commonplace Book of the Oldest Inhabitant (2 volumes), Growler’s Gruffiology, with Appendix (4 volumes), The Books of Moses and Sons (2 volumes), Burke (of Edinburgh) on the Sublime and Beautiful, Teazer’s Commentaries, King Henry the Eighth’s Evidences of Christianity (5 volumes), Miss Biffin on Deportment, Morrison’s Pills Progress (2 volumes), Lady Godiva on the Horse, Munchausen’s Modern Miracles (4 volumes), Richardson’s Show of Dramatic Literature (12 volumes), Hansard’s Guide to Refreshing Sleep (in as many volumes as possible), History of a Short Chancery Suit, Catalogue of Statues of the Duke of Wellington.
Another list also includes Mr Green’s Overland Mail and Captain Cook’s Life of Savage, both in 2 volumes.
When Dickens moved to Gad’s Hill he replicated these books and added more: Life and Letters of the Learned Pig, The Pleasures of Boredom, Was Shakespeare’s Father Merry?, Was Shakespeare’s Mother Fair?, General Tom Thumb’s Modern Warfare, Woods and Forests by Peter the Wildboy, Treatise on the Tapeworm by Tim Bobbin, Malthus’s Nursery Songs, Hudson’s Complete Failure, Adam’s Precedents, Cockatoo on Perch, Swallows on Emigration, Waterworks (by Father Matthew), Shelley’s Oysters, The Scotch Fiddle (Burns), Cats’ Lives (9 volumes), Groundsel (by the author of Chickweed), Chickweed, Drouett’s Farming, Mag’s Diversions, The Cook’s Oracle, The Delphin Oracle, Critts’ Edition of Mellor, Hoyle on the Turnip, Butcher’s Suetonius, Noah’s Arkitecture, The Locomotive Engine explained by Colonel Sibthorpe, Acoustics (Cod Sounds), Optics (Hooks and Eyes), Strut’s Walk, Hayden’s Commentaries, Socrates on Wedlock, The Virtues of Our Ancestors, The Wisdom of our Ancestors, Phrenology (Italian Organ).
I can’t help but wonder if all Dickens’s friends thought his sham books were frightfully clever and amusing, or a bit of a bore. I’m sure he wouldn’t have been able to resist showing them off at every opportunity.
I quite fancy having a door covered in fake books. And I have plenty of faux books to choose from. It would be fun to open a book covered door to discover the bathroom.
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| Thanks to faux books.co.uk: who knew you could buy so many fake books? Amazing! |
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