The Secret Nine by James Rodman

Thanks to Whitehall Garden Centre

Title: The Secret Nine 

Author: James Rodman

Publisher: Not known 

Source book: Honeysuckle Cottage by P G Wodehouse 

Mystery/detective story writer James Rodman inherits Honeysuckle Cottage from his aunt Leila J Pinckney. She leaves him £5,000 on condition that he lives in the cottage for 6 months of each year. I wonder how long the terms of such a bequest would last? What happens if he dies? Does he have to pass on the condition?

Leila J Pinckney is the author of Heather o’ the Hills, The Love Which Prevails, Rupert’s Legacy, Scent o’ the Blossom (wherein Edgar saves Maud from drowning) … and 136 more novels whose titles are lost to posterity. And thank goodness for that. We already have two too many “o’ something” books.

Rodman moves into the cottage and starts work on a new mystery novel; The Secret Nine. But to his annoyance, he finds himself writing in an unwanted love interest. The house where his aunt wrote so many romantic novels is having a strange effect on him.

An admirer of Aunt Leila’s books, Rose Maynard, visits the house and is hit by a car just outside, so she can’t leave. Rose’s guardian Colonel Henry Carteret turns up. It was Rose’s father’s dying wish that she should marry his friend Carteret but Rose isn’t interested. Carteret thinks that Rose is interested in James but James isn’t interested in Rose - or anyone just now - and doesn’t want to propose to her. However, totally against his better judgment, James finds himself proposing to Rose. But he is interrupted by resident mongrel, William, who spills tea on his trousers. James chases William off and realises that the dog has saved him from accidentally proposing. Wow, Aunt Leila’s house is strange.

James goes back to London taking William with him.

Apparently… and I don’t really know what to think about this, P G Wodehouse thought Honeysuckle Cottage was one of his funniest stories, and Ludwig Wittgenstein (considered by some to be the greatest philosopher of the 20th century) thought it was one of the funniest things he had ever read.

I guess to find it funny you have to read Honeysuckle Cottage rather than just a short synopsis. Of course we can’t read The Secret Nine, but presumably James is able to expunge all the unwanted romance once he gets back to London. Perhaps he adds a helpful dog.

Thanks to Gilmore