The Summoning of Dragons by Tubal de Malachite

Title: The Summoning of Dragons

Author: Tubal de Malachite

Publisher: Not known, but a first edition 

Source book: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

Brother Fingers (otherwise Bengy ‘Lightfoot’ Boggis, member of the Thieves Guild) of the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night steals The Summoning of Dragons from the Library of Unseen University on the orders of the Supreme Grand Master (alias Lupine Wonse, secretary to Lord Vetinari).

Brother Fingers finds his way around the Library quite easily as he used to be a sort of odd job man at the University.

The Summoning of Dragons contains pages and pages of pious ramblings and then the Summoning spell which is one short sentence. But at least half of de Malachite’s book is a charred lump. It has been severely dragonned.

Also featured in Guards! Guards! are:

The Dictionary of Eye-watering Words which includes such useful words as “figgin” a small short-crust pasty containing raisins; “welchet” a type of waistcoat worn by certain clockmakers; “gaskin” a shy grey-brown bird of the coot family; and “moules” a game of skill and dexterity involving tortoises. Also “tridlins” a short and unnecessary religious observance performed daily by the Holy Balancing Dervishes of Otherz.

The Laws and Ordinances of The Cities of Ankh and Morpork once owned by Mr Varneshi’s great grandfather and given to Carrot who pretty much learns it off by heart. When Carrot is arresting Lupine Wonse, Captain Vimes orders Carrot to throw the book at him; Carrot does just that and hits him a tremendous thump on the forehead, causing Wonse to fall a sudden 5 storeys. 

Lacemaking Through the Ages this book was chosen by the rats Lord Vetinari had trained to attend him while he was imprisoned under his Palace. Unfortunately, rats can’t read, so their choice of books can be a little eratic. The Patrician reads it nonetheless. 

and The Dictionary of City Biography which contains a reference to Tubal de Malachite.

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