Diseases of the Dragon by Sybil Rankin

With grateful thanks to the Discworld Emporium

Title: Diseases of the Dragon

Author: Sybil Deirdre Olgivanna Rankin

Publisher: Not known 

Source book: Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett (Discworld #8)

Captain Sam Vines of the City Watch finds this book on Lady Rankin’s bedside table.

Sybil Rankin is an enthusiastic breeder of Swamp Dragons. Dear little things, they suffer from numerous stupefying diseases and can apparently explode at the drop of a hat, and Sybil has written up their, er, problems in considerable detail. With diagrams.

Swamp dragons are afflicted by Slab Throat, the Black Tups, Dry Lung, Storge, Staggers, Heaves, Weeps, Stones, Abated Heels, and Zigzag Throat.

Anyone who remembers watching the BBC TV programme Call My Bluff and its constant references to diseases of sheep will not be surprised at this plethora of ailments. Everyone else will wonder how come Swamp Dragons ever manage to breed or... well, anything.

This book is probably on sale at the Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons (don't let their flames go out!)